Wow, I Have a Blog?

Well well well... here we are again. I count every time I find space and time to write as a new beginning, since it means something has ended and I now have time to think. That being said, I wish I were drinking instead of thinking. (And I can soooo hear Joe yelling "DRINK, DON'T THINK!"). Awesome job at the high school tonight, awesome crew, awesome directors. Not so stellar talent, but they work what they have quite well for being so inexperienced.

I feel I should catch any readers up on some things, but, to wrap it up neatly: I am in NY. I do not see California working out right now. I see many many roads here for me to walk, and I intend to skip down whichever one I choose VERY merrily. Ever step I take will be my own, as it used to be and as it should be again. I am tired of being a puppet, a doll. I am not made of porcelain, I will not break if I fall. If I fall, I will pick myself up, not lie around being... broken. I"ve got my big girl panties on, I can handle life as we live it.

Nearly 22 is a lot calmer then nearly 21. I'm done with the bullshit, fuck that shit. I still have a lot of confusion, possibly more then this time last year. But being at peace with yourself is better then being so uptight you spin out of control. Right now, there is nothing for me to control, and although I son't like it, I have accepted it as what it is. No job. No car. No income. But no bills aside from cell phone to worry about, so I'm OK @ the moment. I'm not sure how that @ symbol ended up in there, but I'm ok with it.

Just as I promised, some things will never be spoken of or written about. If you want to be a snarky bitch, snoop around some more, I'm sure there is something left somewhere. My head hurts. I am done.

I have earned my Big Girl panties now. I also think I have earned the right to be mentally exhausted, especially after all the crap I've gone through. I'm lucky, in some ways, if you look at it from that side. In others... fucking A, man. Yeah, I'm young. But I'm not a baby. Thats no excuse. Grow a pair, and stop ogling mine. I've got more balls then you"ll ever have, and more tits then you can handle, dickwad.

on that note, I leave you, my loves, my words, with this: no its not what it seems/ it's just what you think it is

Goosenight.