I need a punching bag and a soundproof room. And lots of kleenex.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
6/25/2010
Beer & Laundry
I need to work on expressing thoughts more often, so I don't always hold it in until I explode at someone. How do I know this? Because I'm tired of getting headaches that make the back of my neck pulse when I'm upset. Usually if I can't yell or scream it out, I end up shaking with a pulsing headache. Just wonderful. And incredibly juvenile to top it all off, that I still need to scream at someone when in an argument. It just makes it feel better, makes my point get across so much clearer. Maybe tiny people just need to scream because we're little? IDK. Maybe I was such a "good" child that I skipped that part of development. I never had tantrums. I never threw a fit in a store, grocery or toy variety. Actually, I'm pretty sure I skipped a lot of "phases" of development. All that teenage rebellion? I was pretty much a good kid. Never did my homework, and hung out with the wrong crowd for a tiny amount of time, but I never caused any major issues. I've had more tantrums since February then I've had in my entire childhood. I've slammed doors, cabinets, anything to avoid all-out self-combustion or a full-fledged fight. I think knowing I cannot do anything, or get my way/what I want, has officially gotten to me. Mom said I had anger issues. Gee, I wonder why? Maybe because no matter what I do, every mistake gets shoved in my face. I don't want to work in a god damned restaurant, especially with one of my fathers friends. They don't like the fact that I'm bartending, tough shit, it's money I'm making ON MY OWN, in a way I feel comfortable with. Not shutting my mouth and serving fries with that. I should be more of a bitch just because I never ask for anything, yet I've been treated like shit by an asshole that doesn't deserve my recognition as family. If you follow my twitter, you can see this all happening, every little piece of control I have crumbling away.
3/08/2010
Top Ten
It's been a while since I've done one of these, but never on this blog. Each one is about a different person.
1) I love you. You are one of my sisters, and I wish you all the happiness in the world :) Who could forget the times we've had? We better stay friends. You're marrying a crazy marine, you're gonna need your girls!
2) You are my little sister for life. I'm so so sorry we fell apart for so long, but I'm back now. Things should be fun from here on OUT!
3) You have a jealous streak a mile wide, and you feel you're entitled to it. Truth is, no one makes you feel anything but yourself. Let go to find what you need to find.
4) Sorry about that hun. But just so you know, I'm keeping you around for times when I have no one else to call. Please answer when I do call, I'll probably be so lost that GPS will tell me I'm in the middle of the Sound. I'll need you then. BTW, you remind me SO DAMN MUCH of Ludo. Love it! Makes me want to hug you. OK, do you want to go to the beach next week??? I need a Ludo hug. lol.
5) Damnnnn you're adorable! I'd never say it to your face though. I'd be worried about pissing you off, and lets face it, you scream like a man. I don't like men screaming. I'd rather have a bitchfight. But just so you know, you're so cute you've snapped me back into myself. Thanks.
6) You should let go, so that I can breathe without feeling guilty for having fun while you're still pining after what you can't have. Don't drag me down with you. I'm not going.
7) Can we all please get the seashell tattoo together???? It's our home, our love. We were raised to brand ourselves island girls (but I bet our mothers wished it was with hair dye, not ink). I want my first to be special. Same idea, maybe the same design, different spots.
8) (TwoFer) Looking at your facebooks makes me feel awful, and inferior, and just... destroyed. Fuck you. I hope you're happy now. Good riddance.
9) Sorry I missed/am missing your entire pregnancy sweetie!!! I'm coming up in June, so maybe I can see you then?
10)Thank you for hassling him SO damn much, it really sped up the whole dropping off the kids thing. And thank you for not making fun of me, when you had PLENTY of opportunity to do so, many many times.
1) I love you. You are one of my sisters, and I wish you all the happiness in the world :) Who could forget the times we've had? We better stay friends. You're marrying a crazy marine, you're gonna need your girls!
2) You are my little sister for life. I'm so so sorry we fell apart for so long, but I'm back now. Things should be fun from here on OUT!
3) You have a jealous streak a mile wide, and you feel you're entitled to it. Truth is, no one makes you feel anything but yourself. Let go to find what you need to find.
4) Sorry about that hun. But just so you know, I'm keeping you around for times when I have no one else to call. Please answer when I do call, I'll probably be so lost that GPS will tell me I'm in the middle of the Sound. I'll need you then. BTW, you remind me SO DAMN MUCH of Ludo. Love it! Makes me want to hug you. OK, do you want to go to the beach next week??? I need a Ludo hug. lol.
5) Damnnnn you're adorable! I'd never say it to your face though. I'd be worried about pissing you off, and lets face it, you scream like a man. I don't like men screaming. I'd rather have a bitchfight. But just so you know, you're so cute you've snapped me back into myself. Thanks.
6) You should let go, so that I can breathe without feeling guilty for having fun while you're still pining after what you can't have. Don't drag me down with you. I'm not going.
7) Can we all please get the seashell tattoo together???? It's our home, our love. We were raised to brand ourselves island girls (but I bet our mothers wished it was with hair dye, not ink). I want my first to be special. Same idea, maybe the same design, different spots.
8) (TwoFer) Looking at your facebooks makes me feel awful, and inferior, and just... destroyed. Fuck you. I hope you're happy now. Good riddance.
9) Sorry I missed/am missing your entire pregnancy sweetie!!! I'm coming up in June, so maybe I can see you then?
10)Thank you for hassling him SO damn much, it really sped up the whole dropping off the kids thing. And thank you for not making fun of me, when you had PLENTY of opportunity to do so, many many times.
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