There are few things pure in this world anymore,
and home is one of the few.
We'd have a drink outside,
maybe run and hide if we saw a couple men in blue.
To me it's so damn easy to see
that true people are the people at home.
Well, I've been away but now I'm back today,
and there aint a place I'd rather go.
I feel home,
when I see the faces that remember my own.
I feel home,
when I'm chillin outside with the people I know.
I feel home,
and that's just what I feel.
Home to me is reality,
and all I need is something real.
Feelin alright, headin out tonight,
maybe out to a dark driveway.
I say now some feel bored,
and some are lookin for more.
Well, we all just decide to stay.
We got nothin to do,
and I look at you
I see something that I know and love.
and with the crack of a smile we all stay a while
we know from home there aint nothing above.
Well in the end we can all call a friend
well that's something I know as true.
And then a thousand years and a thousand tears
I'll come back to my original crew
cuz to me throughout eternity
there's somewhere where you're welcome to go
I said it's something free that means a lot to me
when I'm with my friends I feel home.
I feel home,
when I see the faces that remember my own
I feel home,
when I'm chillin outside with the people I know.
I feel home,
and that's just what I feel.
because home to me is reality,
and all I need is something real
Home to me is reality,
and all I need is something real
I feel home.
So long are the days of wondering. I know I'm supposed to be here. There is NO feeling like being back, checkers shakes at Islip Town Beach, smelling the ocean from your bedroom window. Best friends coming to push you out of the busiest intersection in town because you ran out of gas. Again, at the beach, jumping off the Lifegaurd chair into the sand.
2002: The year I met the rest of my life, but I didn't know it yet. We will be friends until we are old and grey, and probably after that as well. Thank you all, you know who you are :) The Hamster Cage set the ball rolling. I may still have my original 8 membership card. Mr. Paduano, you accepted me as a the goofball I was, but you saw the person I was sure to become, and SHOVED me in that direction. :) Quentin, you will always be my q-tip of evil, the deranged depraved insanity to my ditz.
2003: A hearty F U to you! You taught me lessons, but daaaaaamn did they have to be so blunt?!?!
2004: Sixteen at last, with amazing friends and a broken compass. I will miss you forever, I am sorry that that was the only party of mine you were able to attend. Watch her, she still loves you SO much. She deserves so much more then these shitty times.
2005: RENT. LOTR. Six-foot Legolas in my bedroom, santa hat included. Art classes galore. First job at Hot Topic, purple/blue/red/green/blonde/orange/pink hair. Losing my senior year to B.O.C.E.S. Film/TV Production classes, and completely regretting it. More best friends were made, we are just as close but we barely see each other.
2006: Just a bad year. Busted my knee, didn't walk at graduation, ripped the hem on my prom dress getting into the limo, worked at wal-mart, screwed up my life some... I think the only good things I got from that year were the good times.
After that, I didn't know which way was up. It's a joke I still make today, that up is whichever way I'm looking. There are a few regrets, none as much as not getting my act together in time to have a REAL college experience, that I beg to go back to. I went to SUNY Suffolk for a semester in 2006, never went back there, moved to Michigan the next summer and started WCCCD spring 2008. I met some people during that time that were amazing, and others that I would love to feed to Jeepers Creepers. There was no reason for me to get so hurt that summer, you know what you did. There was no reason to not pick up the phone and say "I'm Sorry", even if you didn't mean it. I'd've preferred lies and closure instead of heartbreak and confusion. I'm not bitter anymore, but I will never forget what you set in motion, hell, I'm still living it.
I left MI october 2009, and up until this point, I've wanted to leave Long Island. I just recently worked on The Wiz at my high school, and it was such an amazing experience. Reconnecting with familiar faces, running the halls with the loves of my life, auditioning my dog for toto. While painting parts of the set, I definitely KNEW I was supposed to be there. It defined creepy deja vu, but made me feel more at home then anything. For the first time in YEARS, I was where I belonged. Now that the weather is getting warmer, I'd like to have a small shindig (i.e. CRAZY BONFIRE!), with each and every one of my friends there. A "Phoebe is staying, so let's PARTY!" type thing. Bring your firepits, wood, and your own alcohol. Bring a blanket and a pillow if you want to crash in the living room with us afterwards. I will be taking keys at the door, and not giving them back if drunk me even THINKS you drank too much. As far as date goes, IDK! After St. Pattys, for sure. Maybe after I get a steady job. But for sure before my birthday, because I'm having another one for my birthday haha. For now though, IDK. I believe it is late enough to be considered bedtime, and I can't remember the original intent f this aside from I felt home :) so expect news later on which piece of the set I decide to take home with me. Emerald City, or my flower from munchkinLand? I'm so amazed and proud of both.
Forget Regret. Love your Life, and LIVE it.
-Phoebe
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