3/22/2010

OY! AYE CARAMBAAAA!!!!



GEEZ!!!! I SO got myself in deep this time! I got a job at a bar, as a shot girl. There is a MAJOR spring break party coming up this week, and I am just... nervous beyond belief. I've done this before, come on! Dress up, play the part, flirt, make them think they're special... and then never come back once the tray gets empty. HAHAHA! But this time, I am freaking out hardcore. I don't look the same as I used to. Granted, I still have the huge tits, and I am just waiting for a bouncer to have to pull some motor-boatin fool out of my face, but I'm not the tiny little thing I was. I turned into a whale! The bottom picture, the one in white, is me now. The top one is me from about a year ago. Crazy, right? I was ADORABLE. In the right light I was downright HOT. Now? I'm lucky if I get asked to move instead of just being pushed, cuz you know, being fat is contagious and just speaking to tubby wonders infects you with it.

Ohhhh I hate to say this but... I need to go to the gym :( I hate that place! Give me a dorky denise austin video and a door with a lock on it instead! I miss doing my own little workouts, and running, and just being myself. I always gain weight when I'm home but this is a disaster. This is putting me back 2 years and no clothes. Which brings me round to my next issue.

The dress code for the party is BEACH WEAR. I'm a... I resemble the walrus instead of the carpenter. I look fine in a bikini top/ tank top combo, but with jeans. Long jeans. Not shorts. If I wore shorts, I would need to wear danskin tights to make my legs look like a hooters girl. And if I wore tights, I wouldn't be able to wear heels. And being a shot girl, I've got to look my best, so I've got to wear heels. So I've got to break dress code and wear long jeans. I don't even know how I'm going to walk in them all night I hate heels lol. Either way... I need to hit the gym so I can dance without getting winded. bleh. I have a few words of wisdom for myself.

Don't forget the boobie tape.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

well im gonna tell you i dont think you have much to worry about. i havent seen you in person (unfortunately ;) ) since like 2006 but i still see that your as hot as i last saw you n its a plus you still have your rockin tits! lmao.......so dont stress sexy