I should have loved you more, loved you harder. Said yes instead of maybe. Maybe if I had, we both wouldn't be as fucked up as we each are. I had stupidly been told that loving someone wasn't enough. I now know it's more then enough, it's all there really is. To have someone other then yourself there, with you, is why we're put on this stupid plane of existence. Not for ourselves. For each other. Every stupid mindfuck that thinks it's to make money, preserve some sort of image, well - what good is it if you're a lonely asshole in the end?
Yes, I still love you. It kills me knowing I'm hurting myself here. Why would I want to hurt myself any more then circumstance already has? I wish I could just stop giving a shit, about you, about myself. Turn into a damn robot, do as I'm told. You know I've never been that way though, I'll never actually let myself go that numb. Some remind me every day in their own way that your the worst thing to happen to me, well, honestly I don't agree. Somehow I hope you get better, that life finally works out for the both of us and maybe, just maybe smile and mean it.
idk where i was going with this, but it's the deepest thing I've thought about all day, its a shame not to post it.
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